Adventures in Niflalfheimr

In Which We Get Too Many Quests

We’re talking to some giants

“Why does Guh need food?”
“Guh want be biggER”

we learn:
Both the giants are Guh’s husbands; Ammon (The all-father, giant god) went away (it’s not clear where), Ammon might be mad;

We get the giants to promise not to come back and then let then them go, but first we exchange for them a mirror (courtesy Naxine, the caster lady) that Nitta has cast a tracker on.
We open the smelly sacks. We find:

A mangy fur pelt
a ten foot long hempen rope tied to a rowboat anchor (Lily immediate ties this to her back)
a 50 foot hemp rope
a small wooden box full of exquisitely crafted turquoise animal figurines (w. 250g)
a large, well-made tapestry (w. 250g)

a giant-sized bone comb
a 5-foot length of chain
a small idol made of gold – in the shape of Ammon (w. 750 g)
a normal sized “potion of acid resistance” (gives acid resistance 1 hr.)

We learn from Naxine that
a) there’s been more giant sightings that she didn’t believe
b) she asks us to tell a friend of hers in Corlan (a dragon expert) named Chazlauth Yarghorn who she wants us to tell about this and ask for help. She also tells us where he lives (in a tall stone house with a tower) She thinks that he could get some good dragons to help us

Xi Liang also steps forward, hearing that we’re headed back to Corlan.
She thanks us for helping (and believing me – side eyes Naxine) and then pulls out a necklace from under her shirt – it has a black pearl pendant. She hands it to Karina, and asks us to visit house Thann. (and presumably give him that)
Lily remembers playing with a boy named Colin from House Thann. Colin was a dick.

We decide that we’re gonna follow the giants. While we’re packing up, Orin hands Braith a letter and asks him to take it to his sister Lily in Daggerford who works at the Happy Cow Tavern. Braith agrees.

After we are packed up and get down into the main tavern room, Miros stops us, and tells us to go the StagHorned Flagon in Amphail (it’s between here and Corlan) and give us his regards to the proprietor Arliosa Starhenge.

On the way out the door we’re stopped by the Shepherd Shalvis. He asks where we’re going and mentions that he was looking for some protection. Then he name drops David Bowie (except never actually says his name) and asks for an escort to the Bargeright Inn.
We tell him that we’ll be back in Goldenfield after we find the Giants and we’ll take him with us from there.

On our way out the door, we run into the big tree, who thanks us for helping save the children.
He says we remind him of a friend he had, Erglas (the elf). Erglas used to fight giants! He left 30 years ago, and went to Shadowtop Cathedral? He was looking for a Treeant named Turlang. He suggests we go looking for those two.

They’re moving erratically and… towards Corlan. We figure that they might be lost, so we go catch up with them and ask them if they’re lost.
They are, but they don’t know it..
We drill them as much as possible to try to get them on the right track towards their home. We learn there are stone ruins by a lake. Or maybe they built stone buildings? With Hobgoblins.
We get frustrated and go back to Goldenfields.

We pick up Shelvis and decide to take him to his place, BargeRight Inn. It’s the farthest away, but /~o~

Attack on Golden Fields
We are Now Level 6

We fought a pair of giants, Ogg and Lob.

Fengarr saved the day with a really effective terrain spell that had the side effect of creating lots of extra grain (which hopefully makes up for that Karina set a bunch of it on fire)
We all took pot shots for a really long time, the only one able to get close enough to touch them was Lily.

Niatta turned them against each other, and then after Ogg killed Lob (we saved him, don’t worry) she convinced him to surrender.

It turns out they are big dumb babies and respond well to intimidation – Braith puffed up like a tiny squeaky frog (and Lily stood on one’s shoulders and punched him in the neck) while Fengarr convinced them to tell us what was going on. Basically they are serving a bigger giant-bully, Guh, who may or may not be as dumb as they are.

Fengarr convinced them that there isn’t food here, which was difficult when they were literally standing in a wheat field but also not that difficult. They’re REAL dumb.

And now we’re level 6!


What We Have Been Doing

We bought the Tickling Cricket

Fengar: Hanging out, learning Giant, growing herbs in the basement with the help of daylight and druid craft.

Sigrid: Bought an Inn

Karina: Became an Arbiter for the Shield of all Faiths

Raskogg: Worked out a lot, laid around in his pile of gold

Lily: Joined an underground, illegal fighting ring.

Braith: Busked on street corners, gained some notoriety as “That Weird singing Gnome”

Karina goes to talk to Sister Bethanine. Bethanine is like, “We found this lady wandering around trying to convince people she was a God? Can you take care of this?” And Karina is like “Okay!”
Gaspa walks in and immediately confronts Karina about being a secret Tieflling. Bethanine leaves the room; Karina bursts into tears; Gaspa and Karina have a heart to heart. Gaspa gives Karina some reassurance that she’s not evil.

We’re hanging out in the Tickling Cricket and suddenly Fengar notices that there’s a piece of paper in the middle of the table.—

To my Generous Friends,

I am afraid that proper compensation can’t be made on a gift as grand as the one you all were gracious enough to bestow upon me. Let me instead share with you a little secret. The Golden Fields that feed the people of your… charming city have a very big pest problem. Or are about to. They may need some rat catchers.

We give the [[ | backstory]] to Gaspa. She’s a little confused but mostly rolls with it.

GoldenFields is a location

We decide to leave right away, pile into a wagon and sleep on the way.

It takes about a day to get there, the following evening we get to a big wall (60 feet high!) and after some searching and Braith shaking out his mice stowaways we’re let in.
Immediately inside there’s a big statue of Chantilla and a little gift shop stand staffed by a halfling. Niatta probes about pests, the halfling gives free samples (seeds!), and directs her to the Abbey.

There’s a big ‘ol tree with baby children playing on it. It’s got a face. It’s an awakened tree! Lily goes to play on it, but only after some insistence, and Karina pointing out that she’d be way better than the other children.
The tree introduces himself:
“I am Lifferlas, and you are welcome in my boughs.”

We arrive at the abbey. Raskogg drives the cart up to the Inn.

The abbey is the largest, oldest, and most elaborate building in Goldenfields.
We mostly all go into the abbey.
(Lily organizes a child fighting ring)

Suddenly turning a corner we run into two black bears. Startled, Braith throws some seeds at them. They eat them He feeds them more seeds.
Niatta convinces them to take a nap.
(Lily asks the tree about the history of this place. The tree talks for a long time)
When we get to the Abbot’s office – Ellardin Darovik – a half orc walks out and says hi.
We walk into the office, and explain why we’re there. The abbot is very sure they don’t have a pest problem.
A lady, eavesdropping as we walked by, tells us about seeing giants. The abbot dismisses her as basically imagining things but we get a bunch of information about her giant sighting.

The abbot invites us to spend the night, and welcomes our help investigating.
Niatta gets a beer, Karina attends the evening service.

Xi Lian takes Braith up onto the wall, he checks it out. He can’t see anything, but gets an area of where the Giants were sighted. Then he gets down from the wall and finds some birds, and plays them a nice little song and (casts speak with animals) to see if they’ve seen any giants and if they’re willing to fly around and look for them.
One bird mentions he saw really big people to the east, they had funny shadows. Bumpy?
Braith sings them a Lullaby.

Braith shares this information – Fengar thinks really hard, and so does everyone else, but no one has any idea what the bumpy shadows are.

We decide to have dinner and drink beer and decide to investigate in the morning.

Lily flags down the orc we saw earlier, and then “Fight Club” and they fight I guess?

The rest of us make our way to the inn. Theres some lute music, Braith and the lutist face off (Dueling lutes)
The rest are greeted by a really boisterous, hairy man (Miros Xelbrin). Karina lets him know that the abbot etc. She namedrops effectively. He welcomes up, and offers us all our first Golden Gulp free.

The halfing lutest introduces himself – Oren Yogilvi – and he and Braith play some duets. Oren is pretty drunk.

Lily comes in eventually,

Night falls, and we go to sleep.

WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! (because of course we are)

The Mutiny
Griffons and Diarrhea

We’re in the Barracks. Lily learns some new gambling tricks, she’s actually pretty good at it.

We’ve been told we need to attend initiation at the chapel, which seemed sinister and cult-like

We sneak off to go look for the crates, on a hunch of Sigrid’s. Karina goes up to a not-pirate staff person, and ask them where the crates are going – claiming that she had a box of personal items and thought it might’ve ended up with the other crates. Staff person shows her to the boxes; she doesn’t find anything with the symbol on it. She asks about the symbol. Staff remembers a box with that on it; it was taken upstairs. Karina salutes awkwardly and leaves.

Raskogg goes looking for Sholar’s room, disguised as Sholar. He doesn’t know for sure where his rooms are, but guesses that he stayed in the same place with the other blue people (since Sholar is blue). He goes to the TOWER! (ominous music)
In the tower Raskogg sees blue guy (Reash) and some other scary dudes playing cards. Reash greets him. “SHOLAR! What are you doing here? Wanna play cards?”
“No I just lost a bunch of money at dice”
“Yeah that happens. That’s why we fine them, heh? "
Raskogg goes for a high five. Reash high fives him, and immediately see through the illusion.

Raskogg looks sheepish for a second. He weaves a tale: “Sholar sent me. The boss tried to have him killed in Corlan”
Reash buys it, asks more questions Raskogg elaborates. “Sholar thought you’d back him up in his bid for pirate king”
He gets Reash on board. They hash a plan: “Sholar” is going to give a signal, then Sholar and Reash are going to take down the boss (who is a wereboar)
Meanwhile: Raskogg also learns that the box ladyface ( Aerisi Kalinoth) is looking for is in Grimjaw’s secret office.

The mutiny is planned.

Raskogg comes back to the party in our little huddle circle and lets us know this.
We decide we’re gonna try to poison Grimjaw. Karina finds some medical supplies that could induce vomitting and/or diarrhea; we plan to add this to his drink.

[Extended discussion about pooping into a portable hole: The Biff Bag]

[We decide that we’re going to make Fengar turn into a mouse and then put the hat on him and then he’ll disguise himself as a bee so he can fly but a bee wearing a tiny hat. And then someone will see the bee in a hat and try to smash it and when he touches it he realizes it’s not a bee but a flying mouse and then fengarr explodes out of the mouse and then the person faints because what is even real anymore.
It was funny I promise
I guess you had to be there ]

So the plan is: We will hat of disguise as a random commoner and bring him a mug of poison that’s prestidigitated to taste like beer.
During this Fengarr will mouse form into his secret office and get the box.
Then we leave I guess

Sigrid pretends to be drunk and tries to go upstairs, to see what happens.

She runs into a guard, who spins her around and turns her the other direction: in the process she successfully picks his pocket. She gets a pouch. There’s 10 gold in it.

Fengarr turns into a lizard and climbs up the wall, looking for a way into the “secret office”. There aren’t windows but there are arrow slits/murder holes. Lizard-Fengarr,

with the portable hole, climbs up the tower, and into a murder hole.

Inside is just a hallway. Lizard scoots out and looks for another murder hole.
He eventually finds the study. There’s some chests in it; but the box we’re looking for isn’t just sitting out in the open.

Raskogg prestidigitates the poison to taste like beer. Sigrid puts on the hat, goes into the kitchen, grabs a tankard, poisons it and brings it to Grimjaw. She sets it in front of him and takes his other one. He doesn’t notice anything. He just starts drinking.

Fengarr realizes he’s in the secret office. The chests, however, are all locked. Two of them are large and heavy and sound like coins. One is lighter. Fengarr takes the whole chest.

Then he looks at the two remaining chests. He’s not sure which one we need. He looks around back into the bag of holding to see how much room there is. He notices our scroll of polymorph.

Grimjaw doesn’t feel so great. His tummy is rumbling. He looks around. Grunts. Runs upstairs.

Fengarr has been spending the last several minutes making a big hole in the stone wall. Everything is ready.
He casts the polymorph spell.

Grimjaw bursts in. Stares.
Grimjaw vomits.

a giant griffon bursts out of the tower, a chest in each of its talons. It flies away, with a scree and a caw.

The whole keep is stunned, staring. They drop their weapons.

Grimjaw burts out of the tower and yells, “Get that Bird!”
Grimjaw vomits again.

Raskogg is wearing the hat of disguise again, disguised as Sholar. “WE’RE TAKING THE BOAT OUT AFTER IT!” He shouts at Grimjaw. Grimjaw nods, vomits. His pants are wet with diarrhea.

We get the boat ready, and depart. Reash lets us out, with a meaningful glance and a nod.

We sail into the sunset, after the griffon.

After almost an hour there’s a large thunk. A large gryphon lands on the boat, and turns back into Fengarr. We count our treasure, it’s a lot (see Treasury). There’s a quick argument about the box – we don’t open it.

We sail back to Corlan, return the box to Aerisi Kalinoth. She’s pleased, gives us a bag of gems worth 2,000 gold.

We buy the tickling Cricket.


We're on a Boat
I won't. I Refuse.

We have a map; we take a nap!

Braith kicks the rats off the boat; and Raskogg goes to go find some hammocks.

We start getting ready for departure; to the Pirate Castle. Probably we won’t die.

Long Rest

Time Passes

During the trip, which is uneventful, Fengar teaches Lily how to tie a sailor’s knot.
When they begin drawing near to their destination, Karina finds a spyglass in the hold, and spies with it: an area where the cliffs we’ve been following (the coast) slope down to a river outlet. Along the river there are walls.

It’s definitely the pirate castle. There’s a big closed gate.

Karina yells to the group. It occurs to Fengar and Braith that this boat is expected; and we’re not the crew.
Raskogg goes to dress up in Sholar’s clothes, and considers turning himself blue.
Braith and Karina vote for telling them the truth. “Yeah they’re pirates. They’ll probably be fine with it”
Sigrid remembers that Lily has a hat of disguise. She could effectively impersonate captain Sholar, except for her voice which would still sound like a 12 year old girl.
Or we could give someone else the hat.
Raskogg gets the hat.
Braith gets the halflings clothes on. Sigrid decides she’ll spin a tale about how she killed the first mate and is the first mate now.

Lily continues to attempt to impersonate Sholar’s voice, regardless.

The boat moves inexorably forward.

As we get closer, we get a better view of the keep: It’s under construction, right now, being renovated to repair some previous damage.

A guard yells out: “Who goes there?”
Raskogg shouts back: “It is I; Captain Sholar! Let me in.”

The gate starts to raise up. We can see another big boat docked on the wall, and a space on the shore for our boat to be moored.

We decide to dock in the place where it looks like our boat goes.

A couple muscle-y looking men descend from the tower and stand on shore, looking expectant. Fengar looks at them blankly for a second. “OH! ROPES!” He says. He throws them some ropes. Hopefully the right ones.

They pull us up onto the shore. Lily jumps into a barrel and puts the lid on. Karina also gets in a barrel. Braith starts carrying barrels and boxes from the hold to the deck to prepare for unloading. The two shore guys come up the ramp and start hauling stuff.

Four figures come down the stairs from the tower. A couple heavily armed guards with freaky looking shark tooth blades, and bare-chested blue man with a mustache.

The big blue guy yells out “Sholar! You finally made it!” He looks at Sigrid, quizzically. “Who’s the Lady? Where’s Pike?” Sigrid shouts “I killed him” at the same time Sholar yells “He Shat himself to death after some bad food in Corlan”
Blue guy looks shocked for a second, but buys the story.
“Heck of a way to go.” There’s a moment of silence.
“Well, you guys got this out here? Sholar, the boss will want to see you” Sholar replies in the affirmative.

Everybody else leaves, letting us unload. About every ten minutes the strongmen come back and grab some crates and leave again.

While they’re gone, Raskogg decides he’s going to impersonate another member of the crew, and then we can just be like, “I thought Sholar went to see the boss”

Those of us who are not in barrels pick up those who are in barrels and follow the burly dudes up the stairs with their burdens.

When get to the end we see a staging area, seemingly outside the kitchens. Every couple minutes some commoners pop out and grab the supplies, and take them to their larder or whatever.

Still holding the barrel, Raskogg grabs a commoner that pops out. “Hey, Sholar asked me to take this to his room specifically. Can you show me where it is?” The person looks unimpressed, and points to the keep. " ’s probably in there". “Okay, thanks”

We start walking over there.

We get into the great hall. It’s really fancy, there’s a big shirtless guy looking through papers. He looks up. “Who are you?”
“We’re Sholar’s crew”
“Sholar… I don’t remember any of you”
“Apparently his other crew had some deadly shits.”
This exchange goes on for a while, but somehow the Bossman believes everything eventually, and introduces himself as Grimjaw.
We get pointed to the the barracks and head on our way.

We get out of the great hall, and see a bathhouse. Guessing that the bathhouse will be empty, we take the barrels to the bathhouse. Raskogg and Sigrid go to the Barracks and get shown to the bunks of Sholar’s old crew. They go through their old chests and find a bunch of pirate clothes! Sigrid takes the clothes to Karina and Lily so they can look like pirates, while Raskogg sits down with some sailors and gambles, and collects information.
He find out that Grimjaw is a good boss but there’s something suspicious that happens to him at night.
Also he asks why people are blue and learns that there are sketchy things that happen in the chapel for orientation.

Karina gets her pirate clothes on, basically looking like captain Jack Sparrow; and really pulls off the look.

It’s afternoon, we’ve all been welcomed and no one seems suspicious that we’re here at all. Raskogg goes to the bathhouse and turns back into Sholar, to go make his report to Grimjaw. Sigrid accompanies him.

The rest of us stand loitering by the door in case things go bad.

Instead, it actually goes super well. There’s a gruff exchange of words, Grimjaw by this point is too drunk to really see through the illusion, and then it’s done.

Babby's First Adventure Log
By Kyle Age 8

All the players want to burn down the docks. The characters may also want to. It is unclear.

ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are 3 or 4 baddies or something. There’s like, a waterman named sholar, and some pirates or something. Braith and Sigrid delay actions! Fenngar whips his vines out in an attempt to entangle the enemy. Lily DBZ energy blasts!



The wetguy pulls a bunch of water outta the bay and KERSPLASH! TIDAL WAVE ATTACK!



Karina is on fiiiiiiiiiire. Three rays of fire shoot out at the guy on the thing (waterdude on boat).

Raskog walks away. Or rolls away? Who knows.


Braith shoots her hand crossbow at boatwetmen, and misses terribly. Braith rages furiously.

Sigrid tries to murder a child. Or a halfling. Or whatever.

Fenngar heals a child. Lily gets up and BDZs again! BDZ hit! wet willy water man is died. BDZ again! hobbit almost died. Karina makes sure he will never see his loved ones again.

Combat = over. 12 seconds have passed. it was good.

some stupid dumb guard is all like “hey you shouldn’t murder people, is this your ship?” and Raskog says “oh ya for sure, I have my ship papers on the inside of my ship”. And the guard believes him for some reason. Sigrid runs into the boat and steals the paperwork so that we can lie about owning the ship. Sigrid steals the title for the ship, the “Minute Maid”.

Guards dispose of the corpses of the actual owners of the ship. And that is how this group of adventurers committed grand theft nauto.

there were a bunch of crates with symbols. but it wasnt the xmas tree symbol, it was the other one, the pirate x thingy. There was also a map of southwest not-iceland with the location of hidden secret pirate hideaway.

Something about dwarvish calzones. or delzones. or something.


Merchants of Vengeance
Adventures of the Tickling Cricket

Sidellac gives a large sigh and trudges off into the city. After a few minutes he gets to a big stone tower in the university district and climbs a bunch of stairs. From his pocket, Fengar hears him knock on the door and a woman’s voice answers.

As he enters the room, he is nervous and deferential. Stammering, he asks the woman – a mist elf woman of indeterminate age – where she wants the journal. She shrugs dismissively and waves. “Just throw it anywhere.” Sidellac does so, and then leaves, giving a large sigh after he leaves.

Fengar jumps out of his pocket and creeps into the lady’s room. The lady is sitting at a desk looking over some papers, looking very serious. The room itself is full of books; with large windows overlooking the ocean. On one wall is a weapon rack with a magical spear on it.

Fengarr hangs out for a bit and nothing interesting happens, and is about to leave – then she starts examining the journal. She picks it up then immediately pauses. “Sidellac, come back in here immediately.” She calls. Fengarr huddles in for the altercation.

Sidellac enters the room shortly, bowing. The woman stops him before he speaks. “Did you get this yourself” Sidellac looks down. “No. I used the money to hire some adventurers.”
She sighs. “That’s fine. Can you bring them here?”
“Yes Ma’am!” He leaves the room, bowing. Thinking quickly, Fengar jumps into his pocket and waits for him to go downstair, then shapeshifts into a cat and then runs as fast as he can back to the tickling cricket.

Once he’s there, he finds the rest of the party in the bar and explodes out of the fleshy goop that was a cat
Imagine a cat is like fur and flesh glued to a balloon, and it just starts expanding, but it can only go so far and then it explodes and underneath the fleshy goop is a man in druid clothes.

He quickly explains the situation “Okay, so Sidellac is coming back her bring us to his boss lady and she knows that we opened the book so, ball’s in your court”

Everyone looks at each other, and basically shrugs. “Sure, we’ll go with him”

A minute or so later Sidellac shows up, all charm and smarm, and makes his pitch. We all kind of just stare at him, as he offers us money. “It’s okay, we’ll go with you” Sidellac grins. “Good! Is there time for a drink? There’s time for a drink” he pushes past us, flips a coin to the bartender, gets a drink and then slams it. “You have a problem” Braith offers.
NOPE” rejoins Sidellac.

They get to the tower. Sidellac tries to weasel out of introducing us and Braith makes him.

The lady asks us what else we found in the room, and we look to Lily, thinking of Bale and explaining the fire elemental. She notices our gaze and cocks her head. “You!” she commands. “You look familiar. Come forward!”
“I don’t think I want to” Lily says
She eventually coaxes Lily forward, recognizing her. “You’re alive! We looked everywhere for you. Your father”
some stuff. Bale shows up, lady is super excited about it.

After a bit she gets really serious. “So what did you do with the artifact”
The party gets quiet, at a loss to explain it. “It’s kind of a long story” Braith starts
“Do tell”
“The goblin king stole it”
A flash of fury crosses her face. “You expect me to believe that a FAIRYTALE STOLE THE ARTIFACT
Karina steps in. “Yes. We’ve encountered him before in the undercity, he was impersonating a gnome in the mountains. He has some kind of problem with us.”
Lady Calanoth looks in her eyes, and sees the conviction in them. She sits back in her chair. “Do you have any idea where he went”

- We tell the story about David Bowie. Lady Calanoth is still pretty pissed -

“Meanwhile, you six have proven yourselves useful, I have another job for you.”
Raskogg leans forward. “Tell us more.”
“It involves pirates”
There was a shipment of research materials coming from Panleon (the land to the south of the sea) and it was abducted by pirates

We’ll know the cargo by this symbol:

300 now 300 when you recover our goods. Karina looks her in the eye, meaningfully. “If we undertake this task, we might need to be better equipped”
Lady Calanoth agrees.

Karina remembers the incubus amulet – “We found an item that needs to be destroyed”
“Oh is it cursed?”
“Well I think we can take care of it. What is the item”
Karina looks at Raskogg, who reluctantly surrenders it. Raskogg pushes for a finders fee.
Lady Calanoth visibly blushes when she realizes what it is. “I will give you 2,000 gold for this”
She pauses for a second. “That’s fair”
Karina stops her. “I can’t let you have this unless you will destroy it”
Lady Calanoth responds immediately “Oh I will most assuredly destroy it.” Karina nods.
Raskogg butts in again “so, 2500 gold?” and holds out a hand. Calanoth fills it with a bag of gold.

Then she gives us the 300 gold for hunting down the pirates and goods they stole, and a note that allows us to get whatever we need from the armorer, and a note that will allow us to use a ship for the purpose of hunting pirates.

We find Sidellac outside the door, and he takes us to the Armory. Braith offers him a job several times, he looks dismayed to get the offer while at work.

The party gets some things from the armory and then moves on. Braith goes and buys a magic battleaxe.

Sigrid buys some poisons.

It’s late evening.
The party goes to the dock and Raskogg intimidates a dockworker, asking about the missing shipment. He’s never seen the symbol before, and is really freaked out by the large dragonborn asking him questions.

Raskogg goes up to a random merchant man. “Have YOU been attacked?”
“uh, no?”
Lily holds up the symbol

“Pirates aren’t cool. They’re kinda dicks” – merchant person
“You probably shouldn’t say that she’s like 8” – Karina
“I KNOW WHAT DICKS ARE they’re mean people” – Lily

Lily has a long conversation with a sailor about his peg leg, in which Lily reveals that she’s always wanted a peg leg and admires the styling of his painted, walnut peg leg.

Raskogg gets a symbol from him


Braith offers him a job “are you moving cargo?” he asks. “Well, we did give a woman an incubus”
“Is that a euphemism?”
“I don’t know I’m 9”

At the ship There’s a blue man who Lily immediately recognizes as like her- but a water elemental spirit.
She pukes over the side of the boat.
Bale and the Water elemental have a short conversation.

Lily holds up the symbol
“oh I see. You’re looking for the pirates. To join them or fight them?”
“We are going to murder them” Raskogg says, taking a chance.
“Then we are going to murder you”


The Death of Mr. Vastion
Goodness Gracious GREAT BALLS OF FIRE

Facing up to the fact that we were just conned by David Bowie, Raskogg briefly shuffles through the notes that we’ve recovered from the tower.

We learn that planar rifts are becoming more and more common

From the notes we learn that this project began as research into intentional, small scale rifts into the plane of fire as a smokeless heating system. The patron of this project, Mr. Vastion, requested that the demonstration of this technology, and then it went bad and everyone died (except Lily)

- Transcribe Here --

Lily is pretty upset by this news. She spends some time trying to get her head around it. She eventually comes to the conclusion that the research is reprehensible and needs to be stopped.

“I just thought boys were starting to look cute and now this is all happening” Lily makes a face20161006_201638.jpg

We go back into the little town,

The sun never sets in the plane of air… some description of a place that’s really pretty

On the third day we get back into town. We head back to the bar where we met Sidilic. Lily confronts him, and demands the name of his boss. Sidilic is intimidated; and he maybe recognizes Lily; he tells her his boss is named Archmage Fara.

Lily has another great exchange with Sidilic which I failed to record because it was so interesting, Sorry. She basically established Sidilic didn’t have anything to do with the fire and her parent’s death, without letting on her actual identity.

We get back to Corlan and Sidilic assumes we’re parting ways. Lily tries to convince him we’re going with him to his boss, but he rebuffs her. A really awkward conversation ensues. Braith manages to slip Mouse-Fengarr into Sidilic’s pocket. Sidilic leaves. Everyone kind of glares at him.

Braith writes a note and drops it down a hole. During the writing of this, he realizes suddenly that David Bowie is an ArchFey.


Death Cults Don't Do Laundry
The Revenge of the Goblin King

We’re on the 4th and top floor of the tower.

We open all the doors on the top floor and loot the rooms.

There’s a lot of laundry. Raskogg concludes that at least the former inhabitants weren’t members of some death cult, because death cults don’t do laundry.

Rummaging through the rooms, pulling clothes out of drawers and digging through wastebins Sigrid finds a loose board under a dresser, and pulls it up to reveal a little silver amulet.

Raskogg determines it’s magic! Of the school of conjuration. The magic members of the party each look at it in turns. No one really can tell anything interesting about it, until Karina looks at it and immediately realizes that it’s demonic and starts freaking out. Dropping it immediately (without explanation) and starts chanting prayers and burning incense.

After some time, she clarifies that it’s demonic. She requests some time to perform some rituals to cleanse it of its evil. Braith requests that they do that in the kitchen.

After the short rest, examining the amulet, they discover it is an Amulet of Sweet Dreams, which (to summarize) can be used to summon an incubus.

Karina’s eyes go wide, insisting that the amulet be destroyed. Raskogg objects; his eyes having widened at the thought of the money to be acquired from selling the amulet.

They argue for some time; but don’t resolve the issue. Fenngar offers to take the amulet for now, until it can be dealt with.

Meanwhile, they are in the kitchen and there’s a secret door. Sigrid has the key! She opens it. There are stairs down. It’s not a portal into hell. There are three lit ever-burning torches along the walls. Raskogg extinguishes them and takes them. They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs. It is warm. Raskogg indicates this, and takes hold of the handle to peek around. Fengarr gets ready to extinguish flames in case there is fire on the other side.

The door swings open! Inside is a very large room:20160922_202012.jpg

In the center of the room is a large orb of unnatural flame, with a man standing next to it, staring into the orb dressed in robes that identify him clearly as the archmage of the tower, and a pair of little flame lizards.

The man turns to the adventurers, breaking his gaze from the flame orb. His eyes sockets are empty. He’s clearly possessed by a flame elemental. He cackles. (Baal quips – Doug? Is that you?)

Karina hits him with sacred flame. Sigrid runs up and stabs him! He flinches; and yells, get that one! and the flame lizards run and attack Sigrid. Fengar Entangles the wizard dude. Baal yells, “Doug!!!!” and shoots several bolts of radiant energy at him. He turns – having not had a name until now – his name is now Doug. Raskogg steps around a lizard, and ROARS! The wizard laughs, and the two lizards scurry away. Braith charges in and hits him with his axe.


“Oh Shit Doug’s dead? Doug didn’t sign my yearbook!”

The things are dead.

Karina pokes the flame thing orb with her mace “What do we do with this?”
It disappears.
Bojack is also missing.

Raskogg, with his detect magic, notices that there’s incredibly powerful transmutation magic that just happened.

The door swings open and starts talking. “Oh hey it’s that Gnome!” Raskogg turns to the adventurers – ‘Bojack just ran off with our meal ticket!!’

The party all runs after him, they reach the top of the stairs and standing there is… The Goblin King David Bowie, holding the orb of flame. “Well thank you” he says, as Raskogg, having never stopped running, grabs the orb out of his hand. Raskogg stands triumphant for a moment – until he looks at his hand, which is empty.


David Bowie smiles. He reaches his hand up, and unzips the air around him, turning it inside out around him. Then he disappears.

Everyone stands around, a little angry. Surprisingly the most familiar with these effects, Sigrid clarifies – “He used Time Stop and Gate. He’s gone.” She turns and walks back into the building.

“Oh Hi! You look grumpy!” The door says. No one acknowledges it.

In the room they find: The research papers, a ruby that can summon fairly powerful elementals, fancy burned archmage robes, a little worse for the wear. Karina mends them and Raskogg cleans them. Karina looks at Raskogg – so will you let me destroy the amulet now? There’s a moment of tension. It’s awkward.

~ FIN ~

we were ghosts the whole time

We’re back at the tower!

We enter the tower.

As soon as the door opens a burst of hot air hits the faces of the party. It’s dark inside.

Karina casts light on her mace, revealing a smallish room. There’s a door ajar on the other side of the room which appears to be the kitchen, with a pantry adjoining it, There’s a closet opposite, and stairs going up. No people.

Bojack wanders in after us: “I always wondered what this place looked like on the inside.” Braith notices a faint smell of Gryphon dung wafting from the other gnome. He raises his eyebrow, then turns into the room and shouts, “Hello?” there’s no answer.

Raskogg detects magic; there’s a hint of conjuration magic in the air, but he can’t tell if it’s just from Wizards living there year-round or if it’s from something that happened recently.

Karina opens the closet-looking door. Nothing explodes. There’s an umbrella in it, incongruously, but mostly boots and winter gear. Lily finds the biggest pair and jumps in them. She continues to wear them.

Sigrid walks into the kitchen, looking through the spices for any cinnamon. She notices that the kitchen is well organized – it’s not kept by serving staff. There’s some food that has begun to go bad but most of the meat is salted and hung. No produce though. She pockets the cinnamon. Braith pops up behind her and pulls a jar off the shelf, blindly. He opens it; its pickled radishes. He eats some and shares it with Sigrid. Continuing to rummage, she deduces they were probably get near the bottom of their supplies; waiting for the next shipment which never came. She realizes the corner looks a little funny. There would be a space there, under the stairs – looking closer she finds a door hidden in the wall. It’s locked, but she can’t find a key. So instead she tries to pick the lock. She pulls out her thieves tools and works at it for a bit, but is unable to get it to open. “Yeah I think we’re going to have to find the key; I can’t get this open” Braith slams his body into the wall. It hurts. Karina starts looking around for a key. She finds a couple of spice bottles in weird places, and some oregano under a false bottom in a drawer, but no key.

Fengarr starts to lose patience with this, and steps outside to have a chat with the door. The door opens his eyes. “Oh Hello There!”
“Hi Door!”
“Where were you guys I lost track of you!”
“Oh we were just inside”
“Oh that’s great I’ve never been in there! How is it!”
“Oh it’s warm”
WARM! I don’t know what warm feels like”
“Oh well, it’s like tickling.”
“Oh yeah. Hey, so we’re trying to open a door in the kitchen do you know how to open it?”
“A door? What’s his name?”
“Uh… Gary Latchman. What’s your name?”
“Oh hi Flimdah. Do you know Gary Latchman?”
“No I’ve never met him. I bet we’ll be best friends!”

A conversation ensues; Fengar breaks off the conversation and walks back inside “Hey Guys the door doesn’t know anything!”
Everyone else is still looking around the kitchen. Fengarr thinks for a second, and has an idea. He asks the door to open by ‘name’, in deepspeech.
When he finishes he realizes everyone else is staring at him, wide-eyed at the terrible, horrifying noises he’d been making. Raskogg asks “Hey buddy… Still a pacifist?” Karina offers him a pickle.
They continue looking a little longer, Fengar moving to the close to rummage through some pockets. he finds six silver pieces and some lint. He leaves the silver, but takes the lint.
“We should go upstairs” He yells into the kitchen. Braith jumps down off the counter, jar of pickles on hand “Yes lets”

They go upstairs

It’s a library. There’re six large, full length bookcases, all full of books. Karina looks over some bindings and pulls one of a shelf. It’s dated; it’s very specific log book of wind patterns.

Lily finds a book about the elemental plain of air. Sigrid gets everyone’s attention “Guys…”
In a couple of a chairs there’s the remains of two humans in robes. Fengarr walks over. “Those seem to be about two months old. It doesn’t match the timeline the door gave me of the last time someone entered the tower.”
“Can you tell why they died?” Sigrid asks.
Raskogg looks at the bodies; still detecting magic. He doesn’t get anything conclusive, just a stronger sense of the same magic

Fengar remembers that we’re here looking for some papers. He looks through some of the books and papers; it doesn’t seem like this is where the new research is. This is just a reference library.

Lily grabbed a loose pen and started drawing smiley faces in a random tome that was open near the dead bodies.

Fengar checks their pockets for a key. He finds three gold pieces, and a key! He’s pretty sure it’s not the right key though. Raskogg looks over his shoulder and confirms – there’s no magic on the key.

Sigrid starts poring over the shelves or anything that seems like it doesn’t belong. She finds something that doesn’t quite mesh – one of the open books on one of the tables is a text on the elemental planes. It’s open to the elemental plain of fire. There are some notes and highlights.
“Why would they be researching the elemental plane of fire?” thinking about how this research station is here specifically to research air.
Lily perks up at the mention of fire.
Raskogg turns to him. “BALE why are they researching the elemental plane of fire.”
Lilies eyes roll back briefly and a figure materializes above her. “What why would I know that!!”
He thinks for a second, realizing the tower is giving him a strong feeling of nostalgia. He mentions that, he and sigrid think about it for a second and then they realize:
Warmth. The warmth of this tower was because the wizards had somehow tapped into the elemental plain of fire.
“Well heat rises so we have to go down” Bale says. “We need that key” Sigrid agrees.
They search. They don’t find anything.
Braith finds a nice illustrated bestiary, and Fengarr finds, shoved between some books, a scroll of burning hands. He looks at it and hands it to Karina. She looks really excited.

After searching, they’ve failed to locate the key.

They go up the stairs, and come to another landing. This one has a door at the top. It’s locked. Fengarr looks pleased with himself and pulls out a key. It doesn’t fit. Raskogg starts berating the door while Sigrid pulls out her thieves tools and picks the lock. It clicks; she pushes the door. It swings open.

On the other side of the door, there is a master bedroom. It’s a quite nice. Braith gets super excited at the sight of the plush 9X3 rug and starts rolling it up. Sigrid looks at him. “It’s not going to fit in the bag of holding!” she objects. Braith pauses. “I’ll carry it then!” He does so. Lily, however, makes a beeline for the unmade king-sized bed and starts jumping on it.
To the side of the bed is a sitting-table and a desk with a chair. Fengarr goes to look at the desk and finds a locked drawer, and flags down Sigrid. She picks the lock, and jimmies the drawer open. A ball of fire explodes out of the drawer into their faces. Braith hides behind the rug; Raskogg raises an eyebrow.
In the drawer is an amulet and 100 gold. Sigrid puts the gold into the bag of holding and hands the amulet to Raskogg. He looks at it a little bit, and realizes it’s like a puzzle; he slides a couple panels and twists and it pops open: Inside is a key. Sigrid asks for the amulet back. She hides her platinum pieces in it and puts it on.
Fengarr asks for some heals. He gets them.
They’re pretty sure they’ve found everything from this room. “Do we go down now that we have the key? or up?”
Fengar looks up. “There should be just one more floor.” Sigrid nods.

They go up. The landing is to the side this time; it’s a room full of doors. Braith attempts to greet them; none of them respond. Everyone looks at him. “Where do we start?” Lily asks. Sigrid opens the door on the left. A wave of rotting smell bursts out. It’s very smelly. Karina, holding a scarf over her face, walks briskly into the room and opens the window. it helps a little.
There are two rotting bodies, one each in a pair of beds. Braith starts wrapping them in a sheet. Karina’s mace starts humming right as Braith starts wrapping the first body. She looks over – the slumped over body is looking at Braith. She gasps. It looks at her, eyes glowing red, and bursts into flames.
Lily, having heard the alarm runs in; Bale fully materialized above her. She punches it in the face, Bale’s arm mirroring her own. As his fist connects, he feels a familar heat.
Fengarr casts a spell, with a shout. “There are four more zombies”
Karina calls on her God and shoots burst of white flame at the zombie that Bale punched. Immediately afterward Fengar shoots it with a blast of eldritch magic.
Sigrid springs into action, cutting of the wrapped zombies head and then quickly stabbing the other through the face. They both die. The sitting one dies and slumps over; then it sits back up again. Braith leaps over sigrid and slices it open. It’d be pretty gross, if it had a brain.

Bojack cowers in a corner. “Oh nooooo!”

Two of the doors in the hall BURST OPEN and a pair of zombies flail wildly at Fengar and Raskogg. Bale tuns and shouts a kia, Lily mirroring his motions and also shouting. a burst of radiant energy flies at the zombies. Fengarr runs away, and yells in primordial at the zombie. It seems confused for a moment, but not likely to stop attacking.

There’s a fight here that I didn’t pay that close attention to. We kill some zombies.

Notable points: Fengarr asks a zombie why they are there. “Feeed” it responds in primordial. Fengar realizes it means feed like, feed a fire.

Braith throws the zombies out the window after they kill them and the door starts yelling back.
“Hey! Hey! What’s going on! They don’t usually come out that way!”
“It’s fine everything is fine!” Lily yells back
“Are they okay?”
“Yeah it’s fine” and shuts the door.


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